I’ve been going to the temple with my parents from as long back as I can remember. Yet I never felt the necessity to question myself on what I really achieved by going there. I went, I stood before those idols with hands clasped and ritually recited every word of my school prayer, which I loved. Each visit went by with my making a wish, hoping against hope that it would come true. And of course, when it didn’t, I still saw no reason to attribute this to a theory that God doesn’t exist.
No, I hadn’t been brainwashed by my parents to believe in God. My belief was something that developed by merely observing others around me. Everyone prayed to Him. God seemed obvious to me – a reality in my small world.
This reality was first questioned me at a stage when I guess I could label myself as “mature”. I began to ask myself, “Why do I believe in God?” “Have I ever seen him?” “He doesn’t seem to be making wishes come true?” “Who is he?” Religion seemed to lack proof. Suddenly I found myself transcending that reality I had once placed such firm belief in.
I don’t know if I can say with conviction that I became an atheist but I guess I was quite close to it. I didn’t seem to be getting any “spiritual comfort” from temples, although i still liked them very much. The wet floor and walls was something I didn’t like even back then. I still don’t. I guess I had started to look at them as just marvels of architecture. These thoughts more or less remained unchanged for a long time. My trips to temples continued as did my liking for them. But I no longer found myself praying or wishing. For the first time I had started taking closer looks at the walls, the carvings, the writings...A new feeling arose from within - one of sincere admiration for the sheer faith and effort that had gone into making that wonder under which I stood, a feeling that had been sparked by that marvellous structure.
Yesterday, as I sat at school reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, I read two pages of all the spiritual comfort one could look for.
“Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as humans has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident. Even the technology that promises to unite us divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone.”
“Who is this God science? Who is this God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or bad idea.”
“You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travels the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures but it is the church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions. You encourage people to interact on phones and computers but it is the church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we were meant to do.”
“All faiths are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand. Religion is flawed because man is flawed. If the outside world could see the church as I do, looking beyond the ritual of these walls, they would see a brotherhood of imperfect souls wanting to be a voice of compassion in a world spinning out of control.”
I cried over those two pages.
Religion is flawed – yes it is. But what in this world is not? We understand “good” because we know what is “bad”. We feel joy only because we have felt its antonym as well. Religion has done so much for us and we forget to thank it. Yes, temples, churches and mosques are not just pieces of wonderful architecture to me but systems of faith, upon which not only mine but your value system is based. Religion has taught us morality. It has merely bowed down before a power that controls us. We all feel that force whether we believe in a so-called “God” or not. It is the energy that courses through our nerves. It is the blood that flows through us. It is the instinct that is making me type this.
Religion has just given the force names and forms. Maybe there is much untruth behind religion. Maybe there is no heaven and hell. Maybe there is no Jesus, Allah or the pantheon of Hindu gods and goddesses. But religion is striving to bring about a perfect world.
Perfection is a process. It is dynamic – a dream that can never reach a stage of completion but must go on.